June 2012
5 posts
before I shower: ugh fuck it i'm too lazy and i don't want to shower ill do it later
when I'm in the shower: sweet jesus christ what is this magical fuckery this is the most relaxing thing ever it's like a vacation in my own bathroom so warm so magical this is holy water that's been blessed by god himself i never want to leave this spot as it wraps its pleasuring waters or warmth around my body
before I go to bed: ugh no i wanna keep staying up i'm not tired at all just one more hour or two more hours
when I have to wake up: holy shitting dicknipples stfu birds outside my window can't you see i'm busy getting my snooze on at CLOUD NINE no go away mom i'm still sleeping i have to sleep this bed is holy and my slumbering can't be over yet it just can't
Jun 13th
223,048 notes
Jun 13th
468,012 notes
Jun 13th
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The Zodiac Temperament
Capricorn: wow you pissed me off so I'm going to sulk in silence and snap if spoken to
Aquarius: YOU MADE ME UPSET IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD /melts into a dramatic heap
Pisces: I'M GONNA FUCKING THROW THINGS. LIKE THE BIGGEST TANTRUM. YOU HAVE -EVER- SEEN.
Aries: WOW I'M SO MAD for like a second. What's for dinner?
Taurus: BRB SMASHING HEADLONG THROUGH A WALL TO KILL YOU
Gemini: Oh, I'm not mad. Wait. YES I FUCKING AM. Okay maybe not. BUT THEN AGAIN--
Cancer: ...oh. I'm angry. But you'll never know. Tillit'stoolate. Cookie?
Leo: /INDISCERNIBLE NOISES OF RAGE
Virgo: how could you do this to me. how. HOW??? Get out of my life. No wait baby come back...
Libra: Passively plotting your demise.
Scorpio: This'll only sting for a second. Unlike my wounds which'll bleed FOREVER and you'll never hear the end of it. WHIIIINE
Sagittarius: I have to leave before I kill someone. Bye!
Jun 13th
79,140 notes
Jun 13th
5 notes